WE DID IT: With Pattinson & Dano in The Batman, Superhero Movies Have Finally Defeated Independent Film

Rejoice, True Superhero Fans! We’ve done it! With the casting of both Robert Pattinson (Every “Independent Movie” Since 2011, Those Dumb Girl Movies About Sparkly Vampires) and Paul Dano (Every Other “Independent Movie” Since 2006, Cowboys & Aliens) in Matt Reeves’ The Batman (2021) superhero movies have finally defeated “Independent Film” and its “cinema of human beings trying to convey emotional, psychological experiences to another human being”.

Paul Dano in a good movie that Happy Hogan directed.

No longer must we live in the shadows, hiding our love of very large men and very strong women wearing primary colors. No longer will we have be shamed for comparing current complex global politics and real-world issues to Avengers: Endgame.

We have robbed them of their precious men, and since independent film has NO PLACE for female-led films, unlike the noble DC Cinematic Universe, we have won. They’re shut down through at least 2021, and very likely beyond.

Robert Pattinson in some sort of “art movie”.

Rejoice, True Superhero Fans, for we have finally been freed from the shackles of comparison to “real movies” that weren’t “made by a team of marketing executives and designed to sell light-up sneakers to 6-year-olds.”

Our time in the sun has finally come.

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