As the U.S. teeters closer to war, we here at TSFO are excited to take this opportunity to bring you a list of which Avengers would do the best on the battlefield against Iran.
Captain America: Obvious choice but who better than Cap to lead the charge against a country, in a war that we still aren’t fully clear about, as the symbol of American imperialism and jingoism. All we’ll need is just one of his patented speeches and the troops will rally behind him. Any doubts and hesitations replaced with patriotism!
War Machine: We admit Iron Man would be a better choice here but… you know. Rhodey would likely be against this war but since an AI controls his suit and, by extension, his legs, he won’t have a say. He’s conscripted into action!
Miek: Everyone knows Miek’s ardent faith is his strongest weapon. His unwavering Christianity will be of good use against those who have not accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior and his spinning blades will deal holy vengeance upon the nonbelievers.
Spider-Man: As a low-income youth from a ethnically diverse neighborhood, Peter Parker is a perfect candidate to send off to a desert war. Sure, his webs won’t do much good amongst sand dunes, but his Spidey Sense will come in handy when detecting IEDs.
Doctor Strange: While his magic will add a level of shock and awe to any battle, the good doctor’s ability to create portals will come in very handy in getting captured enemy combatants off the field and instantly to Guantanamo Bay for enhanced interrogation.
Groot: Trees don’t do well in deserts.
Hawkeye: Perfect aim would go against American policy of doing as much collateral damage as possible.
Captain Marvel: Her strong leadership qualities and power would make men uncomfortable.
Chime in below and tell us who you’d love to see out there defending… whatever it is we’re defending.