The Flash to Be Directed by My Cousin Andy

Development on The Flash‘s solo film has gone ironically slow. After several announced candidates resigned as director, it seemed like Ezra Miller was done as Barry Allen. Luckily, Warner Bros just announced a new director . One who feels like he’s here to stay.

That someone is Andy Muschietti, director of Mama and my own flesh & blood. Andy is my cousin. Well, third cousin twice removed through marriage on my father’s side. Still, Andy and I have always been so close. We met at my great aunt’s funeral eight years ago and totally hit it off. We talked about movies before he had to leave and shoot Mama but those ten minutes showed how much he appreciates mi familia. After that, he darted off so fast you might as well have called him Barry Allen! So dedicated to the craft.

Directorially, Andy is perfect for The Flash. Mama showed has a passion for character exploration needed to explore Barry Allen. The opening scene where two little girls are kidnapped and see their dad get mutilated by a spooky ghost has The Flash written all over it. Imagine just how terrifying Reverse Flash will be in the hands of my mighty cousin Andy!

He also knows how to make stars out of nobodies. Remember Jessica Chastain? Well she was nominated for an Oscar right around the same time Mama came out. Was it for Mama? Well… no. But clearly her work in that little horror movie is what got her the Academy’s attention.

The main thing that makes Andy the perfect director for The Flash is his sense of loyalty. This movie has lost so many directors in the wake of heavy production difficulties, but Andy is a real trooper that sticks with you. Sure, he might not message or call you or acknowledge you at a family reunion. But he’ll definitely like your Facebook birthday message every other year you send it.

So go back to your future of nothing, Robert Zemeckis. Don’t think you’re so dope, Rick Famuyiwa. Looks like you ain’t a great and powerful Oz of a director, Sam Raimi. My eternally loyal distant cousin Andy will have the last laugh when The Flash comes out in 2021. He ain’t no clown like the rest of you! Now if you need me, I’ll be waiting by my mailbox for two years until my invite to the premiere comes in.

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