Felucia, North Dakota
All was peaceful on the frosty Christmas Eve in Felucia, North Dakota where the town would gather together at the unveiling their traditional centerpiece. For the past 42 years, a handcrafted production of the Nativity would bless passers in front of the Main Street Church. The display put people into the Christmas spirit, until a large proclamation came from the crowd.
Bewilderment turned into panic when people had found the baby Jesus was missing and a new baby had been put in its place: Baby Yoda.
The citizens of Felucia broke quickly into a calamity. Rowdy teenagers began laughing at overzealous Christians. Many of the adults murmured if this was a publicity stunt or declaration from up above. Some were looking for the missing baby Jesus while others were in awe of the popular Star Wars character. His innocence and unassuming demeanor made him the perfect idol for the holiday season.
Local resident George L. McGee spoke with TSFO as to why people had quickly accepted this new lord and savior: “It makes perfect logical sense. If we take the lore into consideration, then the Jedi can be born through miracles of the Force. Yoda is genuinely looked upon as the wisest Jedi and had holy scripture written about his birth and death. It’s only natural.”
Some had not only accepted his presence at the Nativity, but full on embraced it. Thanks to the humble people at Disney, people were able to celebrate the season by lighting candles of his visage and drinking ceremonial bone broth. Other citizens were not as thrilled by the alien’s appearance during what is commonly regarded as a very holy moment.
“Jesus doesn’t have ears like a watermelon!” claimed elderly crank Abraham A. Abrams. “I’ve been in this town since Nineteen Dickety Six and we always kept Christ in Christmas! They better not be replacing any of the other memorable Bible characters with them fancy-schmancy space shooters!”
Plans have been made to boycott the exhibition but are predicted unlikely to affect its popularity.