Scarlett Johansson gets a lot of attention, mostly for her role as Natasha Romanoff in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. However, many also notice her public statements. Mostly in reference to not-at-all-controversial topics like race, gender, or Woody Allen. Her views are daring enough to say things no one was dumb enough to state. She’s such a rebel.
In anticipation of the upcoming Black Widow film, it looks like Scarlett is passing her knack for words onto her co-stars. Reports have been flooding in from every cast member of the 2020 film on Johansson’s advice.
The Cast Details All
“She kept suggesting I play a trans character in a film,” said Rachel Weisz. “‘You can play whoever you want to play,’ she kept saying. I straight up told her, ‘Well, I don’t want to play that kind of role,’ and she hissed at me like a damn cat! The nerve.”
Elsewhere, Scarlett was more harsh. “Everywhere I walked, she kept sizing me up,” O-T Fagbenle explained. “I could hear her whisper under her breath ‘I could play him. I could play all these characters.’ I swear the woman just wants this production to go full on Nutty Professor II: The Klumps. Literally, she was pitching this to the makeup team behind our backs!”
“Look, Scarlett was so professional when the cameras were rolling,” admits David Harbour. “Then, we’d walk off set and she’d say shit like, ‘Hey David, ever thought about playing a tree?’ How do you respond to something like that? I’m not taking good tree roles from starving tree actors! All they’ve got is Groot and the Wizard of Oz trees.” Groot’s team could not be reached for public comment.
The weirdest was yet to come. “One night, I was taking a nap in my trailer between takes,” Florence Pugh disclosed. “I could hear Scarlett’s voice whisper in my ear. Faint whispers of ‘Say stupid things. Get cancelled. Date an unfunny white guy.’ I think she was trying pass something off to me. Almost like a curse. I woke up and saw her holding an amulet and everything. Obviously, none of that worked.” Pugh smiled, then left the set hand in hand with her current boyfriend Zach Braff.
Scarlet Speaks Out
When asked for a rebuttal to these accusations, Scarlett Johansson had choice words for True Superhero Fans. “Every bit of it is true,” said Johansson giddily. “Given my talents, I always give the best advice and compliments! Even when people don’t want it!”
Scarlet unveiled her past history with co-workers. “If you’re working with Fisher Stevens, you have to mention how authentic his Indian accent was in Short Circuit. I give Sam Rockwell two thumbs up for his immaculate depictions of racists. Even behind the scenes, I kept insisting Kevin Feige hire diverse directorial choices. Woody Allen, Roman Polanski and Luc Besson need more work!”
Clearly, we haven’t heard the last from ScarJo. No matter how much we try.