EXCLUSIVE: Jason Momoa has Seen The Snyder Cut

Jason Momoa (Aquaman) has seen The Snyder Cut. We repeat: Jason Momoa (Aquaman) has seen The Snyder Cut.

Aquaman recently posted a video of himself with the supreme auteur, Zack Snyder, on His Instagram page. The caption on the video reveals the nuclear bomb we’ve all been waiting for:

“I love u Zachary synder. Mahalo for showing me the synder cut. Here is a token of my appreciation. […] The Snyder cut is ssssiiicccckkkkkk”

A screenshot of the video that Aquaman posted for posterity, in case Big DC makes him take it down.

When our team of intrepid reporters reached out for comment, Momoa indicated that the Snyder cut was not only ssssiiicccckkkkkk but, “also baddassss”. When pressed for details, the 40-year old demigod clarified that unlike the film that was released in 2017, The Snyder Cut is actually not a superhero movie at all, but instead “a psychological fantasy action film about the parallel universes that a young girl wearing a sailor suit must fight her way through in order to kill that guy from Mad Men and also that guy from the new Star Wars movies”.

Momoa went on to explain that The Snyder Cut looked like “the dopest video game he’d ever seen” and that it “ruled”, “was cool”, and also had a “ssssiiicccckkkkkk robot fight”. He went on to clarify that in the end it was actually really sad and meaningful, because the ssssiiicccckkkkkk robot fights and sailor suits were actually “stand-ins for the horrors and exploitation faced by women in the 1960s through to the modern day”.

We here at True Superhero Fans Only can only hope that one day the cowardly Warner Brothers will release this bold, important film on home video.

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